So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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