my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Its about making memories worth repressing
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
