if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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