My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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