I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
