I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
