can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
