well I can't set my house on fire every night
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
