She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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