Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Be still, my beating vagina.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
