'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
