there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
