Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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