I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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