Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
