Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
