So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
