he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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