Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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