Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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