are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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