I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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