he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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