Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
You can't just leave with hair like that
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
