if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
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