No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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