I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
