Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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