I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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