Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm having to shit out rocks
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
