it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
