we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
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