Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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