I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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