Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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