TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
