you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
