What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
dude i'm inner monologue high
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
