Sry I called you an 8
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
