I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
