How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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