sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
