i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
