Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
