his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
