the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
