drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
