She just used a chaser for red wine.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
