Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
My liver just had a heart attack.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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