Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
pop tarts are not kleenex
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
