I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
