If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize