I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
