Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
