highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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