i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
