dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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