She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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