I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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