This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
