The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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