Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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