Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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