we're chasing vodka with high fives
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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